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Pastor Anne: Lessons on Forgiveness, part 3

Myths and Barriers to Forgiveness, part 32Samuel 12:7-14, Eph 4:25-27
St. Paul UMC, 8-19-12

During these last 2 weeks we have been looking at Forgiveness – something that is much needed in the reality of the human condition and differences.
If you go online and google “forgiveness quotes”, there are a lot of sayings about forgiveness.
“I don’t forgive people because I am weak. I forgive them because I am strong enough to know that people make mistakes.” And not just mistakes, things happen and people are different, and we offend each other intentionally and unintentionally.

We began by looking at the power of forgiveness thru the parable of the unmerciful servant who is forgiven an impossible debt to repay. It is expected that he would be compelled to forgive much smaller debts in response to the King’s abundant and generous mercy. C. S. Lewis, a Christian author and theologian said, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”
Last week we looked at steps to forgiveness and heard from Everett Worthington, a professor in psychology and clinical psychologist specializing in forgivness. “If I hold a grudge because I’m angry, I feel strong. But to set that anger aside takes real strength.” It helps to think that forgiving is strong thing to do and not weak as the world tells us
Finally I saw a quote from Oscar Wilde, the author, who said, “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” It is true that sometimes even if we want to or are trying to forgive, we also still want a bit of revenge.

The reality is that forgiveness feels like we are losing , vulnerable, helpless or out of control. There is a song on Christian radio called Losing by Tenth Avenue North. Let me share some of the lyrics with you.
“Losing” by Tenth Avenue North (song)
But still I wrestle with this
To lose the pain that’s mine
Seventy times seven times

Lord it doesn’t feel right
For me to turn a blind eye
But I guess it’s not that much
When I think of what You’ve done.
This is love. This is hate.
We’ve got a choice to make

Oh, Father, won’t You forgive them?
They don’t know what they’ve been doin’
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
Cause I feel like the one losin’ (oh no)

As much as we believe that as Christians we are to forgive others as our Lord forgives us. And that we have and continue to be given God’s great mercy on our impossible debt, it is still a big challenge to forgive. Today we will look at a few myths and barriers that get in the way of obeying and trusting God with this big work of forgiveness.

Myth 1: I have not forgiven unless I forgive and forget.
I hear this so often and know that it torments people. I thought I had forgiven but I cannot seem to forget. The words of forgive and forget are not from scripture but from William Shakespeare. In King Lear he writes, “Pray you now, forget and forgive: I am old and foolish.” He has similar words in other writings of his.
Truth: Forgiving is to remember it and release the hurt. Do not allow it to overcome you.
In John 20 we see Jesus appear to his disciples for the first time after his death and resurrection. He speaks to them and shows them his hands and side. Thomas the disciple says he will not believe Jesus is back unless he touches his hands and side himself.
Jesus’ scars identify him as uniquely him, the one who they have followed, saw suffering, die and is now resurrected. At communion we remember Jesus’ sacrifice, suffering and hope, that through Jesus we too will conquer death.
Our memories are a part of us. Through forgiveness, we take away the negative hold it has on us. We all have moments when strong memories get triggered and we may feel it again. Just as we remember positive memories of our loved ones, likewise painful moments can be triggered by the most random moments. And we can bring those back to God to be released again and again. Wouldn’t it be just like Satan to torment us to think we had failed at forgiving by bringing these memories again and again?
When we forgive we can pass on our story and not keep nurturing the pain that went with it. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Rom 12:21

Myth 2: Forgiving means what they did is okay.
Truth: Forgiving does not excuse the wrong, consequences still remain.
We heard a passage from 2Samuel 12:7-14 about King David, a man after God’s own heart. Let me share with you some of the back story from the chapters before. The King does not go to war but send his army out to war. While hanging around the castle, he sees Bathsheba, a beautiful woman bathing. He summons her to him and has sex with her, later finding out she is pregnant. Her husband is not just some guy in the kingdom but one of the king’s faithful mighty men. The king tries to cover up his adultery by inviting Uriah home but Uriah is too noble to do so. The king then sets Uriah up to be killed and then later marries Bathsheba.
The prophet Nathan challenges King David and he repents, knowing that his actions were wrong and primarily separate him from God.
Psalm 51 is David’s prayer in which he says, “Cast me not away from thy presence, take not thy Holy Spirit from me.” David knows what this looks like because that happened to King Saul before him. King David’s relationships with God is restored, but the consequences of his sin play out among his family and children. This can be read in the chapters following.
A more recent story is in 1981 when there was an assassination attempt on the Pope. Years later the Pope met the man in prison and forgave him. He still remained in prison for his actions.
Forgiving does not release any legal debt they have legally or consequences of their actions.

Myth 3: I can’t forgive because they have not admitted they hurt me.
Truth: Forgiving is about giving up your right to hurt them back.
Romans 12:18-19 “If possible, to the best of your ability, live at peace with all people. Don’t try to get revenge for yourselves, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath.”
We are to entrust this person and what happens to them to God. To not forgive means that we continue to expect payment and wait for them to pay. This puts your life on hold in the waiting.

Myth 4: Forgiving means my relationship with that person returns to what it was.
Really this is magical thinking, expecting that when we forgive everything will go back to what it was before. Things have already changed. It is too late to go back.
Truth: Forgiving means accepting what happened and that things are different.
Forgiving does not change others. They may stay the same. They have free will just as we do.
You may never fully understand or agree with how the other person felt. Some of us like to make sure that we all understand or agree. That may not happen either.
Forgiving may not include reconciliation. Reconciliation is a two way thing. We will talk about that more next week.

I think of unforgiveness as the amount of grudge and resentment we hold over an event. It prevents rebuilding a relationship with God and others. Sometimes we don’t forgive self, feeling bad about we did or did not do.
May seem unfair that the focus is on us since we are the ones hurt but the reality is we cannot control what others do or do not do. The good news is that we are not trapped if the other is not willing.
Greatest Barriers to forgiveness- Hatred and bitterness that leads to self-righteous pride.
As I studied I found that there is much written in scripture about this. This tells me it is a common struggle and they go together. I hope you will take some time to look at these verses this week.
When we focus on or even enjoy our hating because we think they deserve it, we live in darkness.
1John 2:9-11 “The one who claims to be in the light while hating a brother or sister is in the darkness even now. The person loving a brother and sister stays in the light, and there is nothing in the light that causes a person to stumble. But the person who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and lives in the darkness, and doesn’t know where to go because the darkness blinds the eyes.”
Hatred can blind us. Being hurt can lead to unconfessed sin, not trusting God and wanting our own way. We are focused on the one who hurt us.
Or we can wallow in our bitterness and focus on our sorrow. Lamentations 3:19-26 reminds us that in the midst of bitterness, we can have hope in the Lord and wait on his unfailing love. Now this is already after a couple of chapters of lamenting! Can we reach that point of remembering and being reminded even in the midst of bitterness to hope in the Lord?
Hebrews 12:15 “Make sure that no one misses out on God’s grace. Make sure that no root of bitterness grows up that might cause trouble and pollute many people.” When we are bitter, we keep detailed accounts of wrongs. As many of you gardeners know, roots absorb and store nutrients and water in the roots. We hold on to that bitterness. It can be so easy to justify payback and that it is right to feel this way.
Ephesians 4:31-32 “Put aside all bitterness, losing your temper, anger, shouting, and slander, along with every other evil. Be kind, compassionate, and forgiving to each other, in the same way God forgave you in Christ.” We are reminded again to put away bitterness and anger in response to the kindness and forgiveness of God in Christ.
“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the LORD’—and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” Psalm 32:3-5, 7
Have you felt like your bones wasted away from your groanings? The words are a familiar song from years ago. Pride and denial leads us to hide from God and others. God reminds us that he wants be our hiding place, our place of safety.

Ephesians 4:25-27 “Therefore, after you have gotten rid of lying, Each of you must tell the truth to your neighbor because we are parts of each other in the same body. Be angry without sinning. Don’t let the sun set on your anger. Don’t provide an opportunity for the devil.”
Last week we talked about being objective about what happened and investigating. Do not sin in your anger, do not give devil a foothold! It is okay to angry, just do not sin in it. I think of a door cracked open and Satan forcing a toe or shoe in there to try and get further in.
When we focus on ourselves or others and not Jesus, we nurture anger and bitterness and not the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Forgiveness and being forgiven is to be an ongoing way of life.

Last week we talked about the steps to forgiveness – Acknowledge your pain, grow in compassion and know our own need for forgiveness. Thomas Moore teaches, forgiveness comes in its own time, but we create the conditions where forgiveness can occur. How will we nurture the conditions for forgiveness to happen?
Here is a wonderful quote from Mother Teresa:
People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.”

Again at the end of the sermon notes is a place to write the name of someone God is prodding you or you want to forgive and a place to write what you are forgiving them for. I know some of you have not written anything down but it is engraved in your mind. And we need to be intentional and work together towards this. This is a big job. Jesus offers us the power to forgive and walk in new freedom.

I have seen people not forgive and it leads to avoiding places and situations or getting emotional at the sight or hearing someone’s name. It changes people’s mood or activity. When we do this, we give that person control of what we do and how we feel. Take it back. Give up your control and entrust them to God.
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. ~Paul Boese
Let me end by showing this video called “Signs of Forgiveness.”

Lord, you know we need your help. We are broken and fragile. You know the person or situation on our hearts and minds. We want to release them to you. Heal the wounded places in us. Guide us with your peace and your power that we might live in your freedom and love. In Jesus’ mighty name, amen.

Sermons

Pastor Anne: Lessons on Forgiveness, part 2

Steps to Forgiveness, part 2Luke 6:27-28, 15:11-32
St. Paul UMC 8-12-12

We began a series last week on Forgiveness and I spoke about the Colorado shooting at the movies and the victim who forgave him and wanted to pray with him. While we were in worship, there was a shooting in Wisconsin at Sikh temple that killed six. The son of one of those killed said dad would tell him don’t put out a fire by throwing gasoline on it.
Our world is never at a loss for pain and brokenness. Even the smaller things of our days add up- little slights or irritations to large hurts that leave us feeling dirty at the end of the day.
The power of forgiveness is needed in a world of violence. Jesus leads us in another way than responding to violence with violence. The way of forgiveness is made possible by the generous mercy of our King through Jesus Christ.
Last Sunday, Peny talked about being a good friend and a bad enemy. You may know people who you would not want to get on their bad side. Maybe at times we have been that one. And revenge can feel good at first until it adds to and spreads the damage.

During Olympics, I always feel encouraged to be more fit. Dont you see more people at the gym? Of course, I will never be close to these world class athletes.
I think of Jesus as the gold medalist and master of forgiveness. And he invites us to join his team and train with him. I think each person has a limit to how kind and forgiving they are on their own. Like me, you may know non-Christians that are good people and kinder than some Christians. I believe that faith has made me better and more forgiving than I would be on my own.
I have some old friends who try live with right morals, generously and lovingly. I find recently the sin of world and the meanness of people has pushed them to their limits. They have become angry, reactive and bitter. I know that when I don’t lean on Jesus, I am right back to that same place with them, shaped by the world. But when I go to Jesus for help and trust him, I have other choices. The Holy Spirit offers a way of peace and freedom. I hope that they might glimpse and come to know the more that God has for them
94% Americans surveyed in nationwide Gallup poll said it was important to forgive. In the same survey, only 48% said they usually tried to forgive others. I found that funny and sad and believable. It is like eating right and exercising, a good idea but only so many actually do it.
Like anything, forgiveness takes learning and practicing to get better at. It is not of our world, but a gift of God’s spirit to grow in.

Today we will be using the parable of the prodigal son, also called the parable of the two sons ot the lost son, to look at some steps to forgiveness through these characters.
The first step to forgiveness is to Face your Pain and we look at the oldest son. He shows up later in the story angry at his father for receiving the younger brother back and celebrate. He has been obedient to his father, doing what was expected and feeling like a slave. Not doing it out of love or desire to be like his father. The father has never given him a calf to celebrate with his friends. The older son has been obedient but maybe he also was focused on his inheritance, what he would get when his father passed on? Maybe bitter and angry thoughts had been stewing all these years and crowded out his openness to his father’s love? Isn’t that how Satan works, to twist and magnify things to turn us away from each other?
The father answers his son “all that is mine is yours.” It does not seem that this son who feels like a slave has known this generous loving father.
As we face our pain, acknowledge your pain and what you are upset over. Often we may try to gloss over or ignore things. “It is not that big of a deal”, “they are just that way”, “it is alright”.
What did you lose? It may be expectations, dreams whether realistic or unrealistic. We may have lost our pride and been embarrassed or even someone we thought was a trusted friend.
Name how it affects your life and health. Unforgiveness can show up in our life when we notice that we are avoiding people or situations, afraid or our health is affected.
Step back and describe things objectively, without excuse or blame. We live in a very multicultural part of the world with a variety of cultures and values different from our own. Look at what happened objectively and do not assume a motive or intent. The smallest misunderstandings can unconsciously lead to much worse.
When we are unforgiving, we are the lost one, like the older son. Last week we talked about how sin is our tendency to choose words, actions or inactions that separate us from each other and God.
Scott Peck, the author of a popular book, The Road Less Traveled wrote about community– “The first response of a group seeking to form a community is most often to try and fake it. The members attempt to be an instant community by being extremely pleasant with one another and avoiding all disagreement.” This false sense of harmony never lasts.
This parable is often referred to as the prodigal son. The word prodigal means recklessly extravagant. The younger son was recklessly extravagant spending his inheritance on fast living. I want to suggest that the father is the prodigal with recklessly extravagant love to the most undeserving including us, will we celebrate w/him?
Our next step is Growing in Compassion and we look to the father.
Through studies, it is found that forgiving leads to
1. less anger and hostility;
2. increased feelings of love;
3. improved ability to control anger;
4. enhanced capacity to trust and handle situations
5. freedom from past events controlling us;
We meet the father who is full of compassion and is watching for his younger son. We do not hear how he felt when his son asked for the inheritance, basically wishing him dead. Or how it affected the family to sell off things or what neighbors were saying because you know they would know what happened. What we know is that this father sees his son at a distance and instead of waiting for him in the house to hear what he had to say, runs down the road (You know that people would have seen this and wondered what was going on!) in an undignified prodigal reckless love way.
The father restores his son and celebrates and is generous even before son asks forgiveness. I think during those years between the father had already chosen to release his son from his debt.
As we grow in compassion, we must first Choose to obey God and forgive. In Colossians 3:13, it says forgive as the Lord forgave you out of obedience to God. We forgive by faith, not because we feel it or are justifying their actions. We do it because of Jesus and what Jesus did for us.
Next we are to Pray for them. Luke 6:28 says pray for enemies, bless those who curse you. We are to grow in empathy to where we wish them well instead of seeking revenge or hoping they suffer.
When we pray, you are offering to be open to the Holy Spirit to change you. Often we want prayer to change others or the situation. We are part of the situation and our prayer invites God to change us. For us to grow in compassion and be less defensive, open to God’s love and be a vessel for His love to others. To become more like Jesus
The Message translation says, “To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person.” Later in 6:32 it says if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. Let enemies bring out the best in us and turn our energies of prayer towards them. What an amazing thing!

The final step is to Know Your Own Need for Forgiveness that we see in the youngest. This is what really fuels fire of extravagant mercy.
We see the youngest son who has wasted his life and inheritance on wild living. Did he care how it would affect his family or their reputation in their community? It does not seem like it.
The turning point for this young man is in verse 17 where it says he comes to himself recognizing his father’s love and that his father’s servants were treated better than he was now. He was so hungry that pigs were fed better than him.
It begins with recognizing the reality of sin in us and the world. We spoke last week about our part in breaking relationships intentionally or unintentionallly with others and God.
Abundant power of God’s love and forgiveness to restore, patching and making things right. We looked at the parable of the unmerciful servant and the king who forgives his servant of huge and impossible debt that leads to us becoming generous and forgiving much smaller debts.
Often we associate forgiveness with weakness. Or we view forgiveness as an almost saintly quality that only people like Ernie might have but not the rest of us and certainly cannot be learned. We often look for the miraculous healings and resources provided. I think broken relationships being restored is truly miraculous.
Lastly, we are to have God’s perspective and not human. In Mark 8, Jesus is speaking to his disciples of his upcoming suffering, death and resurrection. Peter scolds him and tells him not to talk that way. “Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, then sternly corrected Peter: “Get behind me, Satan. You are not thinking God’s thoughts but human thoughts.” By forgiving we let God’s kingdom come and God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven. We are to think God’s thoughts not human, not the world’s ways.

I receive a newsletter on Christian peacemaking. It said, “Biblical peacemaking is at its core a recognition that even in the midst of an argument where we have a lot to lose and where our opponent may be entrenched in sin, the most important thing we can do is to bring glory to God through our conduct. It is an act of faith that out of this peacemaking witness, God can do things far beyond upholding the truth or vindicating us, though he will also do both these things eventually. The ‘thing far beyond’ that peacemaking makes possible is redemption–especially of those trapped in sin.”
Generous mercy and abundance of our heavenly Father gives us the freedom to forgive. Years ago I was at Nene Bautista’s father’s funeral. During the service the grandchildren started to come up and speak about him. The first one said that she was his favorite. After that each of the grandchildren came up and claimed to be their grandfather’s favorite with their own reasons. It was funny and said something about this man.
I want to tell you that you are God’s favorite! There is more than enough love to go around. It is this that empowers our forgiveness. Turn to your neighbor and tell them, you are God’s favorite! You have been given the generosity of his mercy and forgiven of great debt!

Everett L. Worthington, Jr. said, “If I hold a grudge because I’m angry, I feel strong. But to set that anger aside takes real strength.” We can only do it with God’s help.
Because you are God’s favorite, lavished with an abundance of his love and mercy, you can forgive w/God’s help. Look on your sermon notes and notice there are two lines with spaces to fill in. First is the “Person I forgive _____________” and then “I am forgiving them for _______________”. Whenever I preach on forgiveness and I ask people to think of someone they would rather not see or has hurt them, that when they think of it it makes them tense up and their mind starts spinning remembering, most of us have one. That is the person to write down!
Maybe you don’t want to write it down or write it so nobody sees you and then stuff it into your pocket or purse. That’s okay. You may be working on it, just open to the thought and still not so sure but name it and let’s be intentional. This is a beginning.
Forgive and forget is not in the bible. Next week we will be looking at Myths and Barriers to Forgiveness. The week after we will look at Forgiveness and Reconciliation because even if we do forgive, that may not lead to a relationship again.
Let’s grow together towards God’s community of mercy.

Sermons

Pastor Anne: Lessons on Forgiveness, Part 1

The Power of Forgiveness, part 1Matthew 18:21-35
St. Paul UMC 8-5-12

Are you enjoying the summer? Summer is full of friends and family visiting. We had VBS last week. People are on vacations – please pray for Pastor SunHee and Kevin who left for Korea this past Tuesday for time for relaxing with family. Some have gone camping – Lance is backpacking somewhere in California now. And it’s also a time to see summer movies.
Like me you were probably shocked about July 20 shootings in Colorado at the Batman showing where 12 were killed and 59 wounded. The shooter had an apartment full of explosives and traps for whoever went in. One victim, Denver Rescue Mission employee, Pierce O’Farrill was shot three times in the left arm and left leg.
O’Farrill told The Denver Post that when he saw images of Holmes at his first court appearance he felt sorrow for him. “Of course, I forgive him with all my heart. When I saw him in his hearing, I felt nothing but sorrow for him — he’s just a lost soul right now,” O’Farrill said. “I want to see him sometime. The first thing I want to say to him is ‘I forgive you,’ and the next is, ‘Can I pray for you?'”
That is amazing because ways of the world are not forgiving! There is war, violence through our actions and words of criticism, blame and judgment. People live by an eye for an eye, carrying grudges, bitterness and feuds for generations. The reality is that as Christians, we are not always more forgiving than non-Christians.
Pastor Sun Hee just finished preaching on Heroes. A few weeks ago she spoke of Joseph, the forgiving hero. A young man whose brothers hated him enough to try to kill him and ended up selling him off to slave traders. Over the course of years, Joseph forgave and saved his family.
Jesus calls us to follow and serve him, as Christians. Forgiveness and love are our greatest super powers given by God through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. Most agree, the power of forgiveness is needed in a world of violence. Unfortunately, we, like all humans in the world, can be more like Joseph’s brothers than Jesus.
I will be preaching on Forgiveness for the month of August. In some ways it is simple and complex at the same time. If you have questions or comments, please talk to me, email or leave me a note in the offering plate. Forgiveness is important and central to our life as Christians
C. S. Lewis said, “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.” How does forgiveness work? What are we talking about?
We will look today at Matthew 18:21-35, the parable of the unmerciful servant. Jesus says the Kingdom of God is like a king and his slaves. Parables are stories to teach and show a deeper truth or lesson.
The king is settling accounts with a slave that owes him 10,000 talents.
• 1 talent = more than 15 years pay for average worker.
• 10,000 talents is more than 150,000 years wages.
The man can’t pay. He has accumulated a huge debt that it is impossible to repay even though he may try. I wondered how could he accumulate such a huge debt? But we know that still happens today. As I studied, the word used for slave could also be for a tax collector or finance minister.
The king calls for man and family and all his possessions to be sold. It is in his right to do this and is according to Old Testament law in Leviticus 25.
In verse 26, the slave falls on his knees saying “Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.” Now the slave and everyone there knows it cannot be repaid. It is just too much! Out of pity for him, the lord of that slave releases him and forgave him the debt. The king is merciful, kind, compassionate and generous and releases this impossible debt for the man and his family.
Forgiveness in the Kingdom of God is like this story. God is our king and we are his slaves. We have and are accumulating a debt that is more than we can ever repay. God has mercy and releases (forgives) us from our debt.
But the story is not done.
The first slave sees another slave who owes him 100 denarii.
• 1 denarius = 1 day wage.
• 100 denarii is less than 4 months average wage.
In verse 29, the slave says almost the same thing the first one said to the king, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you.” This time it is possible to pay back the debt.
But in contrast to the King, the slave refuses and throws him in jail until he pays. Which again he has right to do.
Other slaves see the forgiven slave (who could never pay back his own debt) be unforgiving and they are upset! They tell the king and the king calls the slave wicked. He then sends slave to be treated as he treated other slave.
In the Kingdom of God, when we are unforgiving to others, others are distressed and God calls us wicked. Though it is acceptable in the world, it is not acceptable in Kingdom of God. In the Message interpretation the king says, “Shouldn’t you be compelled to be merciful to your fellow servant who asked for mercy?” The generous unexpected mercy of King should compel us to act likewise and become more like him.
There is the expectation that we who are forgiven of debt beyond our ability to repay are to become forgiving like our King with debts that are really much smaller. When we are not, God treats us as the world does.

Back to beginning of our scripture reading, Peter asks Jesus how many times must I forgive a member of the church? We will talk about others outside the church another week.
Seven times? Jesus answers 77 times! This huge number is not so that we keep count and when people reach 78 we are done forgiving them but to say as often as it happens. For this aspect of forgiving, we are compared to king and his slaves.
As Christians, we and others know and expect that we are to be forgiving. Amen?
We pray the Lord’s prayer weekly and say, “Thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven….Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Being forgiven by God and forgiving or not forgiving others is connected.
I saw a book recently called The Christian Atheist by Craig Groeschel. The subtitle is Believing in God but living as if He doesn’t exist.
Pastor SunHee said a few weeks ago in her sermon, “Men forget but never forgive. Women forgive but never forget.” And we nodded and nudged and understand that. Sometimes we are so used to it that it becomes normal, comfortable and even acceptable in our mind. We may think we are pretty good compared to some and this is good enough. But that is not God’s standard.
When we are baptized and/or confirmed, we or our parents publicly commit and accept what God is calling us to in following Jesus.
 Do you renounce the spiritual forces of wickedness, reject the evil powers of the world, and repent of your sin?
 Do you accept the freedom and power God gives you to resist evil, injustice, and oppression in whatever forms they present themselves?
 Do you confess Jesus Christ as your Savior, put your whole trust in His grace, and promise to serve Him as your Lord in union with the church?
This is what we commit our lives to, what we say we want our lives to be.
When I was baptized I knew that I wanted to follow Jesus. I was not fully sure what it would take or mean or where it would lead. If you ask my family and friends, I was a pretty good person with basic morals. As I grew in faith, I learned the basics that God loves me so much, not just for what I do or who I am. Likewise, that when, and not if, I messed up, God was ready to receive me back if I turned back and asked for help. That reveals the kind of God he is
It was life changing from how I grew up, fully dependent on my working hard and doing the right thing. It was an incredible freedom to not be in control but trust my life and others to God’s great care and help. It was a huge burden lifted. I could not believe it was true! Love that was so sweet!
There are moments when I am still stunned at how good God is to me and us! At those times I am overflowing with gratefulness. When I still mess up and get tired of my own limitations, our God is there to receive and put me back on track.
We all have those moments throughout life. Moments when we feel that we have messed up so badly and the mercy of God is waiting for us to ask for help. Not just a second chance but 77 times! As often as needed, God’s amazing love is there to wrap us, receive us, wash us and lead us!

Have you been watching the Olympics? I really enjoy team sports where people share their strengths and encourage, remind and help focus each other in challenging times. The other day I saw Tirunesh Dibaba from Ethiopia who won the women’s 10k meter race. After 20 some laps she was with the top competitors at the front. When the bell rang for the last lap, she turned it on and peeled away from the others and even lapped others in the race. It was amazing!
I think of Jesus as the gold medalist in forgiveness. He is so much better that there is no contest. Why are we on the same field?
And yet, Jesus invites us to be on his team- to coach us and shares his power and strength us through the Holy Spirit. Jesus and the Holy Spirit will take us far beyond our own limits if we allow and are willing.

You may be wondering, what about when others do really awful things, or repeatedly, or are unrepentant? We will deal with these in the next weeks.
I want to leave you with two main realities to set our foundation as we talk about God’s forgiveness.
First is the reality of sin in world and in us. We often think of sin as not following God’s law or will. I would like to break it down more. Sin is our tendency to choose words, actions and inaction that separates us from each other and God. It is when we block the ideal relationship between people and God. For example, Adam and Eve’s actions and choices put a barrier where we see them hiding from God.
Sin includes violence, demeaning others, gossip, fear and hiding. We may be aware and unaware of the separation that our choices lead to. Either way it is not always so easy to go back.
The second reality is the power of God’s love and forgiveness to restore or mend separation. Forgiveness gets us out of the trapped cycle of violence and despair. God guides us in unlearning the habits of separation and sin to live out the life-giving grace of God.
In Psalm 25:7, 11 God forgives according to God’s love, for sake of God’s name. We see that expressed in Jesus Christ. In Luke 23:34, Jesus forgives the guards who nail him to the cross. “Father forgive them, they do not know what they are doing. John Wesley wrote that this is Jesus’ greatest miracle- “while they were nailing him to the cross, he seems to feel the injury they did to their own souls, more than the wounds they gave him, and to forget his own anguish out of concern for their salvation.”

Jesus invites us to be on journey of forgiveness with him. Let me offer two questions.
Will you repent and receive God’s forgiveness and power?
Who do you need to forgive?
Maybe God is reminding you of how much you need him, how forgiven you are. Maybe there is someone or something you are being prodded to forgive. Recommit yourself to repent, to reject evil, to put your whole trust in Jesus Christ and live for him.
Let him do the heavy lifting! It will be more than we can do on our own.
I am going to invite the praise team to offer a song for reflection. During this song, you are invited to come forward to recommit and offer your life to the one who saves us. If you are accepting good news of the abundant love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ for the first time, please come to the center. We will close together in prayer at the end of the song.